User Profile

My name holds little importance to all of what I am going to fill this journal with. If you must call me anything, call me Laura but I do ask that you refrain from adding ‘That Fucking ____, Laura.” unless the blank is filled with “Genius” or some other positive noun which glorifies my person.

If you are the type who constricts yourself by time and the social existance laid down by our ancestors, then I am twenty-two. If you are not, then I am eternal and unending, my age means nothing nor does anything else truly. Of course, if you insist you too are eternal and unending I will call your bluff, for no one is as cool as I am.



Except this guy.

I might be clinically insane but I would have had to have seen a doctor for that to be assured, and since I haven't I am simply with the belief that I am simply beyond your mortal comprehension. Sort of like the bible without all the fairies, giants, talking plants and poison apples. Don't they know that Maleficent already did that anyway?

The easiest way to gain my friendship is to have an open mind. If your mind were a pair of legs, I want it to be Paris Hilton's. There is little more that I can say to complete that visual.

I have voices in my mind that are as real to me as everything else that I can feel and see. There are many of them that interact together and interact with others voices. If you have voices too, and you want to meet mine, we can set up a play date for the muffins. But you have to bring the cookies. I am no good at baking.

I am not fond of conservatives or religion pushers but I do love a good debate. If you can pull it off as an adult, not only do you earn bonus points but you'll get presents. Big, shiny figurative presents that aren't really presents but we can pretend.

You're good at pretending, right?

Just remember. If anyone should ask you about me just tell them that i am the figment of a drug enduced state of hallucination that is complete with technicolour elephants and tap dancing rabbits.

If you can manage to keep a straight face, I won't seem so insane anymore and there is a slight chance that we might survive this cluster fuck called life.

It's a win-win situation.